


taking back goodbye

by anotherthief



Category: NCIS
Genre: Families of Choice, Gen, Post-Season/Series 16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 07:03:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19848019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherthief/pseuds/anotherthief
Summary: They’re back at Gibbs’ in the basement, a couple of drinks in, celebrating another victory, Ziva’s homecoming, that it’s Tuesday, anything, everything. It’s just nice to be here, together, and to know they’re both safe and whole.





	taking back goodbye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BadWolf303](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadWolf303/gifts).



> One shot of Ziva was all it took to drag me back into this fandom. God help me.

“You know, I recall another young agent who had trouble following my rules.”

They’re back at Gibbs’ in the basement, a couple of drinks in, celebrating another victory, Ziva’s homecoming, that it’s Tuesday, anything, everything. It’s just nice to be here, together, and to know they’re both safe and whole.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She smiles, feigning ignorance. They had been talking about Ellie, but she has a sneaking suspicion of where the conversation is headed now. They’ve been dancing around it, but Gibbs has never been one to let things go forever.

He kinks an eyebrow at her, calling her bluff, with a hint of amusement behind his eyes. “Rule number 12.”

Ziva blushes and grips her beer a little tighter. “Ah, right. About that.” She opens her mouth and closes it, searching for words. Gibbs sits and waits, content to let her squirm.

“Technically speaking, we never dated. Not really.”

“Ziva.”

“Well, we didn’t. We fell in love.” She shrugs. For as complicated as everything was then, now, always, it’s also shockingly simple. “I cannot speak for Tony, but I didn’t mean to fall in love with him. I was in the middle before I knew I had begun. Tried not to be. But after Berlin... life is fragile and fleeting. You and I both know that better than most.” She pauses, worrying the inside of her cheek. She feels ashamed, somehow, not for loving Tony, but for lying maybe, and for what happened next. “But I was a mess. I didn’t think it was fair to him, to either of us, so I left. Walking away from all of you was the hardest thing I had ever done, but I thought I had to be on my own to find my way again.”

“But you weren’t alone.” Gibbs has the audacity to smirk at her while he has her in the hot seat. Her cheeks feel warm. She supposes she’s earned his needling, but somehow his enjoyment of watching her squirm has her more flustered than if he were in serious mode.

“Ah, no, as it turns out, I was not.” Ziva breaks into a smile then, unable to not smile when thinking of her daughter. Finding out she was pregnant with Tali was a shock, to say the least. It was... every emotion happy and sad. She wanted nothing more than to tell Tony. She missed him so much and knew he would have wanted to be there for them both. She just didn’t know how when she’d already broken his heart. Maybe it made her a coward, but the longer she waited, the easier it was to convince herself that not telling him was the right thing to do.

“Your daughter is beautiful.” Gibbs’ voice pulls her back from the thoughts swirling around her head. She’s made her peace with her choices, mostly, but it’s still easy to get lost in them, too.

“Thank you.” Her heart surges with pride, love, and longing. It’s only been a few days since she was with Tali and Tony, but she misses them both just the same.

Gibbs smiles then shakes his head. “This stays between you and me,” he starts, his gravelly voice full of hesitation, “I burned a rule for Ellie, a while back.”

Ziva's glad no one is there to take a picture of her face, eyes bugged out and mouth agape. She literally cannot believe what she’s hearing. When she finds her voice, she doesn’t even try to hide her disbelief or bewilderment. “That does not sound like the Gibbs I remember.”

“I am coming around to the idea that maybe - and I stress _maybe_ \- sometimes a rule needs to be broken.” His shoulders lift then in that patented Gibbs shrug with a dash of head bobbing and ‘what do I know’ expression.

She’s still trying to work out what this means period, so it takes her a minute to try to work out why he’s saying it. Her brows furrow. “Are you… is this your way of telling me we have your blessing?”

Gibbs pulls a face.

“Right, that sounded weird. But does this mean we’re off the chain?”

“Hook, off the hook,” he chuckles. “It means, the two of you are no longer on my team, and I’m washing my hands of the whole situation. I just want you to be happy.”

Ziva doesn’t need absolution from him, but she appreciates his acceptance. While she is dying to know more about Ellie and rule burning ( _what happened? which one? why?_ ), those questions will have to wait for another night when she’s not flying out the next morning. She intends to make the most of her time with her mentor/father figure/friend, and turnabout is fair play after all. “You certainly are full of surprises. Speaking of surprises, now that we’ve covered my love life. What about _yours_?”

A quizzical look crosses Gibbs’ face. “What love life?”

“Oh c’mon. I saw you and Sloane today. What’s going on there?”

Gibbs guffaws. “Nothing.”

“What I saw today could not be classified as nothing. You don’t just fight like that with anyone. What’s that saying? There’s a thin line between… well, I’m not sure about hate but _annoyance_ and love, definitely.” She suppresses a laugh, thinking of her and Tony’s bullpen bickering matches. “I should know after all.”

He takes a sip of his bourbon, leans back in his chair. “I don’t know what you think you saw, but maybe you should have your eyes checked.”

“No, no. You don’t get to play dumb with me. I saw how she gets under your skin. The way you were looking at her. There’s something going on there.” She notes his deliberately neutral expression (even after her years away, she can still read him better than most) and her suspicions already feel halfway confirmed. “Although,” she pauses and takes a sip of her beer, opting for nonchalance as her weapon of choice, “I have to say, I was surprised she was blonde. Have you given up on redheads?”

The corners of his mouth quirk upwards. “Well, I have managed to marry most of them.”

Ziva falls out laughing, and Gibbs breaks out into a grin. When she’s caught her breath, she tips an imaginary hat to him. “Touché. But in all seriousness, don’t wait too long there.” He starts to interject, but she cuts him off. “Just - just hear me out and I’ll drop it. I know you know this already, but it bears repeating. Time has a bad habit of slipping by and once it’s gone, you can’t get it back.”

Gibbs surveys Ziva then for a long moment. Under his steady gaze, she can feel the conversation shift once more.

“I missed you, kid.”

His words are heartwarming and piercing at one and the same time. Coming back to D.C., revealing herself to and reclaiming her family of choice, it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions. She knows what she just said to him is true because if there is one truth to Ziva’s life that eclipses all others it’s this: time is precious, and it seems she’s always losing it. Over the years, she has said more than her share of goodbyes, many if not all of them for forever. It’s a rare thing to get to take one back. Tears well up in her eyes.

“I missed you, too.”

When her voice cracks, Gibbs stands and crosses the distance between them to pull her into a hug. When she slips her arms around him, she hopes Gibbs knows without words how glad she is to get to take this goodbye back.


End file.
